Distant End

You may have been the highlight
of my lowlife when we were young,
but you stung me hard when
you lied, were you high
when you said you’d get better?
Guess I should know by now
that words don’t mean
anything when you’re a fiend.

Don’t hand me sweet nothings
It’s not my cup of tea,
I would never see you change
Don’t think you ever will,
not even when life is at a standstill.

It’s time to say goodbye
I know you thought this would last forever
but you were wrong.
It’s time for us to be strong
so we can see the light of day,
go our own ways in this life.

Something about us was never right
friends had this in sight before
I had even caught on.
I didn’t want to believe them,
a system of not listening to the
truth had set inside of my mind.
Finally I had realized the kind
of person you are
wasn’t what I saw
at the beginning of it all.

Don’t hand me sweet nothings
It’s not my cup of tea,
I would never see you change
Don’t think you ever will,
not even when life is at a standstill.

It’s time to say goodbye
I know you thought this would last forever
but you were wrong.
It’s time for us to be strong
so we can see the light of day,
go our own ways in this life.

Why can’t you move oon?
Do you see what you’ve become?
I have let you go,
freed myself from the strees,
guess it’s over now.
How had this gone wrong?

Don’t hand me sweet nothings
It’s not my cup of tea,
I would never see you change
Don’t think you ever will,
not even when life is at a standstill.

It’s time to say goodbye
I know you thought this would last forever
but you were wrong.
It’s time for us to be strong
so we can see the light of day,
go our own ways in this life.

It’s time to say goodbye
I know you thought this would last forever
but you were wrong.
It’s time for us to be strong
so we can see the light of day,
go our own ways in this life.

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Missing Sorrow

Something will always be missing
inside of me,
the same place that tells me
there’s always something better to see.
I need to gain anything
to fill the gap between, but
what’s there remains unseen.
I may be grasping at straws
but my claws are unhinged and
need to tear at my seams.

Life is so short when you
can’t separate yourself from the fear.
How can you do the right thing
when your heart can’t seem to hear logic?
Getting caught up in nonsense when
all you need is clarity,
to get over that mental malady in your
mind. Finding what you need is hard when
that line of morals and reason is blurred.

I want this pain to go away,
don’t want to be alone,
my heart has turned to stone.
Darkness falls over me
for all of you to see!
I have lost my way
fighting to stay sane, trying to break free.

Life is so short when you
can’t separate yourself from the fear.
How can you do the right thing
when your heart can’t seem to hear logic?
Getting caught up in nonsense when
all you need is clarity,
to get over that mental malady in your
mind. Finding what you need is hard when
that line of morals and reason is blurred.

I’ve been living for nothing,
nothing at all,
lying to break my falls,
crying behind closed doors.
Wasted on sorrow,
I’ve become hollow.

Life is so short when you
can’t separate yourself from the fear.
How can you do the right thing
when your heart can’t seem to hear logic?
Getting caught up in nonsense when
all you need is clarity,
to get over that mental malady in your
mind. Finding what you need is hard when
that line of morals and reason is blurred.

Life is so short when you
can’t separate yourself from the fear.
How can you do the right thing
when your heart can’t seem to hear logic?
Getting caught up in nonsense when
all you need is clarity,
to get over that mental malady in your
mind. Finding what you need is hard when
that line of morals and reason is blurred.

Run Away Queen

This is what you came for,
A little ray of sunshine
the core of your soul.
A hole in your heart
right at the start.
That little ray is
all that you need
to feed that monster
inside of you.

I tried to help you,
the queen with the heart of ice.
you could not stand all those
lending a hand in
your direction, not
an ounce of satisfaction.
you didn’t want to
tear yourself open to
get free, or see the
help you need.
All you wanted was to
save face, not grow to
be of better mind.
never were you kind to us,
never will you find your peace,
a stone cold queen.

This is what you came for,
A little ray of sunshine
the core of your soul.
A hole in your heart
right at the start.
That little ray is
all that you need
to feed that monster
inside of you.

Now you lie there
on the ground
trying to fix what is left
of your shattered soul,
a new low for loyalty.
This life is full of regrets
A life full of secrets.
we tried to help,
you’ve decided to rather
hide from the truth.

This is what you came for,
A little ray of sunshine
the core of your soul.
A hole in your heart
right at the start.
That little ray is
all that you need
to feed that monster
inside of you.

This is what you came for,
A little ray of sunshine
the core of your soul.
A hole in your heart
right at the start.
That little ray is
all that you need
to feed that monster
inside of you.

Your Evil Angels

Is this truly what
you wanted, to
leave in the middle of
a dark, cold winter?
Sinister intentions were
brought here by
evil angels, your followers
of the night.
You’ve created an empire
built on corruption and immorality.
with this you’ve gone against
everything I’ve made here.

You’re tied to a broken melody,
a memory from long ago.
here we are, speaking of
what you never saw.
I can only fathom how
far you let this build,
and I can only say to you,
“let this go, my dear.”

Is this truly what
you wanted, to
leave in the middle of
a dark, cold winter?
Sinister intentions were
brought here by
evil angels, your followers
of the night.
You’ve created an empire
built on corruption and immorality.
with this you’ve gone against
everything I’ve made here.

You need to leave here
with your evil angels.
I’m not the one who
brought your demons.
It’s clear to see you
have no control over
what happens to you next,
but these will follow you
wherever you may go.
hold your grudge, just
leave me out of your
misery, your tyranny.

Leave them behind, your demons
Leave them to rot, your evil angels
help yourself and let
all of this go.

Leave them behind, your demons
Leave them to rot, your evil angels
help yourself and let
all of this go.

Is this truly what
you wanted, to
leave in the middle of
a dark, cold winter?
Sinister intentions were
brought here by
evil angels, your followers
of the night.
You’ve created an empire
built on corruption and immorality.
with this you’ve gone against
everything I’ve made here.

Dream I Had

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I was at the beach and I was doing different “work” stuff for youtube. Two people that I worked with were Matthew Santoro and Nicole Arbour,

Eventually, I ended up in a room with a staircase in it. There were some people there, which included Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park. I had spoken with Mike and another person in the room but I don’t remember what we had talked about.

For some reason, either Chester was sharing baked ziti or we all had our own baked ziti. I don’t know why this was in my dream but it was and it was totally random.

Before this, I was working on something and I believe it involved Chester and Mike.

After the ziti thing, a person in the room began speaking. I looked over at Chester. He looked back at me and squinted a bit. He was looking at me like he understood how I felt about what was going on at that moment and he wasn’t disapproving of it.

He was wearing a black shirt, black pants, a black hat, and glasses.

In real life, I never met him. I had seen him though in concert in 2014 during Linkin Park’s Carnivores tour with AFI and 30 Seconds to Mars.

Feminism vs Egalitarianism

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Feminism –   the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/feminism?utm_campaign=sd&utm_medium=serp&utm_source=jsonld

Personally, I do not agree with the first meaning of the word and agree with the second meaning that I stated above as that was what feminism was originally and I believe, still is today.

So,

Fem – female, feminine.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fem

Egalitarianism – a belief in human equality especially with respect to social, political, and economic affairs. 2. a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/egalitarianism

To those saying Feminism is the same as Egalitarianism, here is the proof it is not. One is advocating for the equality between two genders. The other is advocating for equality between everyone, regardless of your gender.

Feminism = Let us be able to wear the clothes we want, have fair pay, voting rights, do the same jobs as men, and whatever other rights men had that woman previously didn’t.

Egalitarianism – One person will have the same jail sentence for committing the same crime as a different person, everyone can adopt children regardless of sexual orientation, judges won’t be in more favor of mothers rather than fathers in custody battles, et cetera.

 

I am not a feminist and I do not feel as if I am oppressed.

I Became Free

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Saying what I am to you is like

the anticipation you get before

the first drop of a rollercoaster ride –

you don’t really feel the drop of your

stomach yet but the nervous thrill builds up.

You had become a dark cloud

of anger after hearing my words,

and I essentially became your

marionette doll for months. I

was being crushed by your judgmental

boulders you continually threw at me.

After awhile, your terrifying and

traumatizing vocal threats lost their

meaning, as I had been awaiting,

anxiously, for an opportunity granted to me.

Finally, I became free of fear.

I was at last able to live

as who I told you who I was.

Veil

 

I can’t slow down, and
I just can’t take anymore, this
life of solitude,
all i here is the
sound of silence.
am I wrong, for singing
the anthem of the angels?
it is automatic, but when
I feel awake and alive there’s
no turning back. i may be
naive, but it isn’t too
hard to conveive that
there is a life beyond
the veil of lies told
to me here.

Toxic Devistation

 

this feeling ain’t casual,
it’s mutual, nothing
will stop it, nothing will
stop us from doing it.
there is chemistry in
the air, a flare if
you will. wait, we’re
at a stand still – oops,
now there’s mountains made
out of molehills. there’s
always more, can’t get enough,
it’s toxic, but how will
we get that clarity without?
click, click, boom – here is
some devistation for
you to receive. I wouldn’t
worry, it’s meant to deceive
the people from the real issues
at hand.